My Brother's Keeper
by Circularpath
Summary: In SAR, Max had to choose between Logan and Zack. In this story she chooses Zack. This is going to be a dark, disturbing angst filled tale. You’ve been warned
1. Chapter 1

**My Brother's Keeper**

SUMMARY: In SAR, Max had to choose between Logan and Zack. In this story she chooses Zack. This is going to be a dark, disturbing angst filled tale. You've been warned.

RATED:M (Mature Themes, Violence, Language, Sexuality)

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Dark Angel.

_**Choices**_

"How can you love him and not me? He's been working against us the whole time."

"What are you talking about? Who?"

"Logan. He's the reason the mission went sideways." Max stared at her brother and tried to figure out what was going on in his obviously mixed up head. He was really upset and getting even more upset by the second. She had to get control of the situation but her chances seemed slim while still being handcuffed to the pipe overhead.

"Just undo these handcuffs? We'll talk about it." Max said soothingly.

"I died for you!" Her big brother screamed at her.

Now Max stared at Zack in horror. She had never seen him this angry before. He had never raised his voice to her or any of them. Not even when they were kids back at Manticore and his position as the section leader demanded he be stern with them.

It seemed like forever, but it was less than a second for the thoughts of growing up with Zack and then searching for him for ten years along with the thoughts of how much she knew she was going to need him for the tasks ahead because of the all the transgenics she recently let out into the world to run through her head. In that second, Max came to a decision that would change everything for her and the life she had been leading before finding Zack again.

"Zack, listen to me please, Logan and I are not together. We can't be together because…because…I love…you. Only you. Please believe me, Zack." She needed him. It was as simple as that. She needed him now more than ever. She didn't want to lose him. She would say and do anything to make him stay and more importantly to keep him from hurting Logan.

Zack stared at Max for a long time. In his mind's eye he kept seeing Logan and her kissing on Logan's living room floor. He saw how Logan gently caressed Max's face the night of the mission to take down Manticore.

"But I saw you two kissing the night we went to save Tinga. I know you two were together." Zack said softly still playing the scenes in his mind while simultaneously hearing Max's words of love for him.

"Yes, me and Logan _were _together. But that ended. It ended before it even really got started and it was mainly because..." Max looked away from Zack's intense gaze as she mustered up the strength to continue with the lie. Finally she looked back at him. "Because I fell in love with you."

They stared at each other for a long time. Suddenly Zack's mouth broke into a huge grin. Before Max had time to smile back, his lips were crushing hers. Her first instinct was to pull away and it took a lot of coaching from her inner voice to remind her of all the stakes involved. Eventually she was able to clear her mind of all thoughts of Zack being her brother and she relaxed into the kiss.

TBC

Author's Note: A lot of this story is written and has been written for quite some time. I've been debating on whether or not to finish. So I posted it to see if there's an audience for it. So basically the more reviews I get, the more motivated I'll be to post more. It's all up to you.


	2. No Turning Back

**My Brother's Keeper**

SUMMARY: In SAR, Max had to choose between Logan and Zack. In this story she chooses Zack. This is going to be a dark, disturbing angst filled tale. You've been warned.

RATED:M (Mature Themes, Violence, Language, Sexuality)

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Dark Angel.

**No Turning Back**

"White is our biggest threat. He seems to have a pathological hatred for transgenics. At least with Lydecker we knew he hunted us down to make us soldiers again. But with White…Zack are you listening to me."

"You are so beautiful, Max." Before Max could decide whether she wanted to smile or roll her eyes, Zack's lips were against hers…again. He'd been kissing and groping her constantly from the moment she had told him she loved him. Her first impulse was to flinch every time. Thankfully, Zack never noticed. Who knew Zack-Mr. human emotions equals phony sentimentality-would be so mushy?

She couldn't help but feel conflicted. All her life she viewed Zack as her older brother. A year ago if she had listened to Logan or if Zack, himself, had said how he really felt about her, she would have felt sick to her stomach. She was still a little queasy every time Zack touched her but there was so much at stake now. Logan's life for one. She saw the murderous rage in Zack's eyes back at the Steelhead's place. She didn't doubt for a second that Zack would have left her handcuffed to the pipe while he went and killed Logan for "betraying them."

Besides her fear for Logan, she needed to have Zack in her life now. For ten years after the escape he looked out for all of them. He knew better than she could ever know how to protect his own. He'd really done it all his life.

She was spontaneous. She was used to looking out for number one. She let them out like Zack had done for her and ten of her siblings eleven years ago. Following his example, she did believe she was responsible for them. But that didn't make her know what to do about it.

She needed help. She needed someone who was just as devoted to the responsibility to her kind but who also knew what the hell to do with that responsibility. She needed Zack.

But that meant giving up Logan.

Max quickly quelled the sadness that thought brought up because maybe this was a blessing in disguise. After all she was literally the death of Logan. It was safer to stay away and now she had a reason even he couldn't rationalize away. If she was with someone else, he'd have to back off. He wouldn't fight for her. That wasn't Logan's style. If he thought she'd be happier with Zack, Logan would let her go. And ultimately, that was what was best for everyone.

So she closed her eyes.

It was just easier that way. With her eyes closed, she didn't have to see that the man kissing her neck right now was the man she grew up considering her brother. Plus it wasn't as if Zack was a bad kisser. Quite the opposite. He was really very good at it. She had to admit that it felt good to be touched and caressed by a man. It had been such a long time. And Zack loved her. She was sure of it. His touches and kisses were so gentle and reverent. She had never been so cherished by a man before. It did feel kinda nice. So what if it was the wrong man. True, Zack was no Logan. But then again, neither was Rafer. She had given herself to men before during the insanity of heat. It would be a nice change to consciously be with a man who truly loved her.

Anyway it was kinda too late now. Throughout her whole internal struggle, Zack had been removing both her clothes and his and now she was naked on her bed. Zack was on top of her, still caressing. Still gently bestowing kisses every where his hands weren't. Max couldn't help but respond to the muscular male body that was pressed against her.

"Max." Zack breathed. "Look at me." He continued in a husky voice she never heard before.

Max opened her eyes and saw her brother staring down at her with eyes darkened by feral lust and she almost sprang from the bed.

But Max was a soldier, and soldiers trudged gallantly into battle. She quickly reached up and pulled his head down to hers and kissed him hard. He returned the kiss with equal fervor. And while he did, he entered her in one sure thrust.

Her head fell back to the pillow and she whimpered with both the shock and abruptness of it.

"Max, open your eyes." She obeyed. "Are you alright?"

"Fine." She whispered. "It's been a while. Just a little gentler, okay."

"Okay." Zack tenderly cupped her cheek and kissed her again. He slowed his thrusts until he was gently moving inside of her.

She felt the tension in her body building. He felt good. Really good. Maybe this could work. If something one week ago she would have believed to be so wrong could feel this right today, she must be making the right decision.

A pleasure filled moan escaped her lips and Zack responded by going faster. Max too responded to him by thrusting her hips back towards him until they were both joined in a rapid sea saw rhythm. Then they were both falling. It took her by surprise because up until that point she had never experienced an orgasm of this caliber. Perhaps it had something to do with Zack being an X5 like herself. Her scream and Zack's shout pierced the night. No words followed. Zack simply rolled over and gripped her possessively to his chest before falling asleep.

The next morning, Max woke before Zack did. She eased herself from out of his clutches and made her way to the bathroom. Her stomach lurched and before she knew it, she was bent over the toilet throwing up. Tears immediately sprang to her eyes as what she had done continued to sink in. A few minutes later she stood on shaky legs and went to the sink to wash her mouth and face. She stared at her reflection in the mirror. When tears began to threaten again, she sucked in a breath to rein them in.

"Pull yourself together, soldier." She scolded at her image.

TBC

Author's Note: A lot of this story is written and has been written for quite some time. I've been debating on whether or not to finish. So I posted it to see if there's an audience for it. So basically the more reviews I get, the more motivated I'll be to post more. It's all up to you.


	3. Breaking the News

**My Brother's Keeper**

SUMMARY: In SAR, Max had to choose between Logan and Zack. In this story she chooses Zack. This is going to be a dark, disturbing angst filled tale. You've been warned.

RATED: R (Mature Themes, Violence, Language, Sexuality)

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Dark Angel.

**Breaking the News**

Original Cindy quietly let herself into her apartment. Her lickety chick from the night before had to be at work at dawn so O.C. left with her. The sun was just starting to come up by the time Original Cindy made it to her apartment.

"Hey boo." O.C. yawned not surprised to see her roommate in the kitchen sipping coffee this early. She was halfway to the bathroom when it registered that Max hadn't answered her back. Spinning around immediately she took a closer look at her friend. "You okay, Max?"

Max was pulled from her thoughts of last night by a feminine voice. "Oh, hey O.C. What's up?"

"That's what I'm trying to figure out. I ain't never seen you this spacey before Boo. Something wrong?" Original Cindy took a step closer to her friend when she noticed the flash of deep emotion in her doe brown eyes. But then it was gone and replaced with a smile.

"Everything's great, O.C. Morning Zack." Max said in one breath.

"Morning." Zack answered from behind Original Cindy who once again spun around abruptly and nearly screamed in surprise. She hadn't heard the blonde X5 sneak up on her. Zack gave a curt nod to the startled woman before moving over to Max, taking her in his arms and planting a kiss on her lips.

"Ugh…wh…huh?" O.C. articulated.

"Oh sorry OC." Max cut an embarrassed look to her roommate before looking back at her brother. "Zack we have to chill cause Original Cindy is not too big on PDA. Sides I have to get ready for work." Max pulled away from Zack and darted over to OC and grabbed her hand pulling her towards the bathroom.

"OC wanna show me where you hid my loofa."

"Can't say I'm surprised. Alec said six dollar man had a thing for you. Just didn't know it was mutual." Original Cindy commented once the bathroom door was shut.

"It's complicated." Max sighed after turning on the shower.

"You got that right. He's Sam. He's Zack. He's dead. He's alive. He's your brother now he's your lov—

"I know." Max cut in.

"Sorry, sugah. Original Cindy can tell you ain't got this all figured out.

Can I just ask you one question though?" Max stopped fidgeting with her robe and looked at the other woman. She then nodded and Original Cindy asked the dreaded question.

"What about Logan?"

_It's better this way. We can't touch. It's for his own good. _Those were the words she had said to Original Cindy and the words she kept repeating in her head as she made the journey to Logan's front door.

"Hey Max." Logan beamed as he wheeled into the living room. He was in the kitchen when he heard the tell tale clinking of his lock being picked.

"Exo damaged?"

"Ugh no." Logan shook his head. "My body just needs a break from it every now and then."

"Right."

For some reason his being in the chair made what she had to tell him even harder. She always said being in the wheelchair didn't matter to her. But that wasn't exactly true. If she hadn't been so self involved and indifferent to the troubles of others she could have been there for him. She could have prevented that bullet from hitting him. She could have saved him. Seeing the result of that day over a year ago served as a constant reminder. Even though she could always hear the gears of the exoskeleton, seeing him walking around like when they first met lessened the guilt considerably.

"So everything okay with Zack."

"That's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Oh?"

Max turned away from the innocent curiosity in Logan's blue eyes and walked towards the window. She wasn't sure if she could look at him when she said this. The tears were already gathering and if she was going to do this she had to do it right. She had to convince Logan that a life with Zack was what she wanted and that from now on a distant friendship was all they could have between them.

Max took a deep breath and then turned back around.

She made it down five flights of steps before dropping heavily onto one. Tears streaming down her face and small frame convulsing near violently were her body's visible show of the grief and sadness she was feeling. She didn't make a sound though. She learned at an early age how to cry silently. But nothing in Manticore had prepared her for this battle. The devastation on Logan's face was almost more than she could take.

_It's better this way. We can't touch. It's for his own good. _Again those words repeated in Max's head. After the fifth time she actually started to believe them again. They gave her the strength to wipe her eyes and stand. By the time she made it to the ground floor her mask of indifference was back in place.

"What are you doing here Zack?" Max asked surprised to see him standing in front of Fogle Towers.

"I was just about to ask you the same thing." Max cut off her engine and looked sharply at Zack a little startled by hisbrusque tone of voice.

"Logan paged me earlier. Needed to talk to me about something." She mumbled.

"Ever heard of a phone."

"Zack, seriously, what are you doing here? Did you follow me?"

"Sorry. I was bored." Zack shrugged. He then gently cupped her cheek. "I worry about you Maxie. I just want you safe and I feel better when I know where you are."

"That's sweet Zack." Max smiled briefly beforepulling away and restarting the engine. "But I'm fine really. I can take careof myself. Come on. If you're bored I think I can find something for you to do."

"Oh really." Zack smirked.

"Down boy. Nothing like that. I just gotta stop by work first."

"So, how's the dream coming?" Alec asked after coming up behind Max and Zack when he saw Normal had walked away.

"What are you talking about?" Max asked irritated.

"Well you're here, with Zack, I assume it's to get him a job." Alec gestured in Normal's direction. "Remember last night at Crash, we talked about what to do with bionic boy, no offense." Alec's last two words were directed at Zack.  
"Oh." Max nodded then shook her head. "No. He can't work here. Normal won't have it. They kinda have history." She explained.

"What?" Alec raised an eyebrow in surprise.

"Long story. I'll tell you later. Anyways, I know of another place in Sector 6 that's hiring." Max looked up at Zack. "You up for trying to find a job somewhere else."

"Sounds good." Zack smiled.

"Let's blaze." Max said and then headed for the exit with Zack following. Alec and Original Cindy watched Sketchy nearly crash into the two transgenics as he came barreling in on his bike. Alec burst out laughing only to have it die in his throat when he saw Zack's hand slip into Max's after he pulled her out of Sketchy's path. Zack then kissed Max on the cheek before leading her out of Jam Pony with their hands still joined.

"Okay what the hell did I just see?"

"Yep. Soldier boy and my boo been getting down."

"Zack and Max doing the nasty!" Sketchy exclaimed when he joined his two friends. Alec clenched his jaw as he continued to stare at the spot where Max and Zack had stood moments before. Original Cindy watched Alec in surprise.

Max and Alec had always bickered like school children. She wasn't the only one that thought that there was more to it, foreplay and such. But Alec was always catting around with so many girls, O.C. thought maybe that's just how transgenics acted towards one another, no hidden lust involved. But now seeing what could easily be called jealousy as he watched Zack caress Max's face, OC wasn't so sure she had been wrong in her first assumptions.

"Since when?" Sketchy continued.

"Don't know the when exactly just the what." OC answered.

"Yeah, well, Zack's a brave man taking on our Maxie." Alec smirked but Original Cindy didn't miss how his quip was devoid of its usual teasing tone. "I wish him good luck."

With that, Alec grabbed a package from Normal's desk and quickly exited Jam Pony.

TBC


End file.
